Sick of alcopops that taste like anti-freeze? Bored of vodka and cranberry? Think you’re being ripped off with pub prices? Fear not! There is a whole world of weird and wonderful alcoholic beverages waiting to be discovered…

Chicha
This traditional South American drink is one of the oldest beverages on Earth. Chicha is made from maize which has been chewed for several hours before been spat into a bowl. The human saliva breaks down the starch, and after several days of fermentation, the drink is ready. I'm imagining alcoholic Horlicks.

Kumis
Another old drink, found in Central Asia, Kumis is made from fermented mare's milk, fresh from the horses teat. Lovely. Not very alcoholic however, it only contains between 0.7 - 2.5% alcohol. Rather like sipping on a warm shandy at your first wedding then.

Lizard Wine
Apparently, very popular in China, it’s very simple to make: Take a clay vat full of gingseng and rice wine, then plop a Geko lizard in the mix. Leave for 12 months and voila - a drink that tastes a lot like brandy (apparently) and is said to improve eye sight.

Baby Mouse Wine
The drink of China and Korea is considered a cure for anything from the common cold to liver problems. Shame about its grisly preparation: take a large number of baby mice and drown them in a vat full of rice wine. Like Lizard Wine, leave to ferment for a year. Highly alcoholic it can’t be worse than anti-freeze surely?

Snake Drinks
Snake-based drinks are very popular in countries across South-East Asia. Prepared like Lizard Wine, you can choose from snake whiskey and snake sake, containing the most poisonous snake venom, including that the Cobra. This could be the new age alternative to Absinthe for students around the country.

Seagull Wine
Forget Thunderbird. This is so simple you could try it at home - but you really won't want to. Created by Eskimos, Seagull Wine is produced by taking a dead seagull, stuffing it into a bottle, pouring water over the top then leaving the concoction in the sun until it's fermented. Alcoholic gravy perhaps.

Bhang Lassi
Lassi is a traditional popular yogurt based drink hailing from India. Bhang Lassi gives the drink a mind-bending twist by adding bhang - cannabis in liquid form. It’s legal in many parts of India and is used mainly for spiritual purposes. Don’t try making this in England unless you’re looking to sample Her Majesty’s finest detention centres. Shame cause it probably tastes nice.

Ant Natural Stimulation
Okay, we're cheating a little bit here. This is more a mixer than an alcoholic drink. Ant Natural Stimulation is a tonic made from black and red ants and is incredibly popular in China, with the Ant tonic business worth $100 million every year.  In the late 1990s, a UK company tried to introduce Ant Natural Stimulation to the Great British public, selling it as a mixer for vodka (know as lubric-ant) or gin (an agony ant). Unsurprisingly, the British public weren't impressed.
 

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A version of this article appears in issue 4 of Ctrl.Alt.Shift Magazine.