After a short stint away, Ctrl.Alt.Shift's beloved Question of Port is back and it's time for the next contender, Simon Franks, of Audio Bullys fame, to take on our verbal assault course. With the release date of their new album, Higher Than The Eiffel, fast approaching, it's only right we do a little bit of Audio Bully's bullying... Geddit?  

The minute I get Simon on the phone the bullying commences. And his Audio brother Tom Dinsdale isn't here to save him. The pair, who originate from north London, have worked for six months on the new album which is now ready to hit stores on the 27th March. With inspiration taken from punk, funk, electro beat and classic house, it promises a sonic adventure, but Simon really ready for a Ctrl.Alt.Shift style adventure?  

What's your favourite holiday destination?

Palm Spring is good, it's in America, near LA, we've played there before and stayed there for a week. I'd like to go to the Virgin Islands cause I've never been but I've seen pictures and it looks like paradise.  

What's the most absurd and poverty ridden situation you've witnessed in Palm Spring?

There wasn't much out there, I saw more in South Africa. There were a lot of shanty towns and stuff...  

If you had to move to a foreign country; which country would it be?

America, I'd like to live out there.  

To further your music career or just in general?

I'd like to catch some sunshine in LA and New York really. I haven't spent that much time in LA before. 

The majority of the world live on £1.25 a day or less; if you had £1 a day what would you spent it on?

[Laughs] I guess it'd have to be a loaf of bread, a can of beans or a tin of soup or something.  

No soap then?

I would go and steal if I had a pound a day... the food would have to come first cause of survival.  

Which country would you like to invade and why?

I dunno if I'd like to invade any country... nah I'm not into it.  

If you had to...

Erm, the Orchny Island off of Scotland... cause no one lives there. [Laughs] I mean I don't know about any of that stuff really, some people are portrayed as one thing here (say in England), but it doesn't mean that the people elsewhere are how they're made out to be. It's all propaganda.  

If you could be any politician, dictator, or world leader, who would you be and why?

Winston Churchill, he saved England (in a way) during the war, and he was just cool.  

What's the worst form of torture you can imagine?

There's one I heard about years ago where they put you in a box then they put rats on you and set the box on fire. The rats start biting their way out of you.  

How do you envisage your funeral?

Erm, like the Sopranos. I was watching it last night and there was a funeral in it so that automatically popped into my head. There were black cars, suits, long jackets and all that. A classic one.  

Cremation or burial?

I've never actually given it any thought but probably... erm, I dunno, burial actually, so then I've got a grave stone.  

What would make you start a war?

Erm, I dunno, mistreatment or doing something that I really believe is wrong I suppose.  

Would you rather shoot a kid or let of a nuclear bomb in central london?

[Laughs], Well you've gotta weigh up the options haven't you. Obviously you'd shoot the kid cause if you drop the bomb you're killing loads more children.  

Ok so you'd rather shoot the kid.

Well yeah, If I had to pick one... the kid gets it.  

What's the last film that made you do a little wee in your pants?

A film has never really made me do that, but I mean City Of God is probably one of my favourite films. The way it's all cut up and the way it's filmed, it's just a brilliant film. It's like a Goodfellaz or something but set in Brazil. The soundtrack is wicked as well.  

Lucky Dip; Samari Sword or AK-47?

[Laughs] I'd have to say the AK-47, I was watching telly the other day and I saw a gun; I was thinking I could... you know, have one in the house... 

Sorry what?

No, not to use, just to look at; have it in the house.  

I see... what's the most bizzare food you've ever eaten?

Probably rotting shark in Iceland.  

Urrrrr...

It's like cheese or something, it's made in a way that is pretty weird. 

Did you have it out of choice?

I tried it but it's not as bad as you'd think, it's actually alright in a funny way. If I had a couple of drinks I'd probably eat it again.  

Three things you're listening to other than yourself?

The Aeroplane Remix of 'Paris' by Friendly Fires, Crystal Castles and I'm not sure about the third... I listen to so many things. 

What song did you used to jump up and down to on your mums bed as a child?

I remember she used to listen to a Paul Simons CD. But 'Pump Up The Jam' I always remember from when I was a kid, that was a big track.  

Audio Bully's new album, Higher Than The Eiffel, is out 29th March and their new single is out 22nd. 

 

Words: Sian Anderson