Feature: G20 Meltdown

What's the best way to show your anger about the misery and destruction that our culture of war and consumption has created? Sound off about it in the pub? Abstain from voting, as it only encourages politicians anyway? No? Well how about bringing about a zombie apocalypse in central London and then feasting on the still-warm brains of the very fools who brought about this mess?

Sound more like your thing? On Wednesday April 1st 2009, thousands of people are heading to the City of London for what promises to be it's biggest ever street party. This isn't just April Fool's Day, this is Financial Fool's Day, and as the G20 leaders from wealthy, industrialised countries meet in London, the masses will be in the city showing their outrage, and their severe doubt that those responsible can be relied on to rebuild a system which best serves both people and the planet.

To symbolise the way in which disasters seem to be converging on us from every angle, protestors will start their march from four different locations at 11am, and each will focus on one particular imminent disaster. The marches will in turn each be led by four modern day horsemen of the apocalypse - War, Job Losses, Home Repossessions and Climate Chaos. They will each head towards the Bank of England for noon, where protestors will enjoy a 'Banquet at the Bank', sharing food and fun and games, not to mention the macabre sight of zombie protestors feasting on the brains of bankers. You'll have to get there early to enjoy that particular delicacy however, because judging by the current state of the economy those bankers don’t have many brains to go around.

If you do fancy eating the rich, you'll need to join up with the other zombies behind the Silver Horse of Job Losses. It will be leaving from London Bridge, so come appropriately attired in zombie-wear, and be prompt, because those zombies weren't built for speed.

Alternatively, if you think that the city's most heinous sin is its support for the Masters of War, whether in Iraq or Afghanistan, Gaza or further afield, then the Red Horse of War is the march for you. It will be setting off from Moorgate, and protestors will be calling for 'The Trial of Capitalism' for crimes against humanity and the planet.

The Black Horse of Home Repossessions will be gathering at Cannon Street. Protestors here will be calling for people to regain true ownership over their homes and work, in the memory of 'The Diggers', a group of English Revolutionaries who were protesting and dissenting from unfair government rules 360 years ago. If you want to join this group, bring a digger’s spade to show your dedication to levelling the social order.

And finally, the Green Horse of Climate Chaos will be marching from Liverpool St. Marchers will be proving that multinational companies have not yet succeeded in paving paradise by bringing the rainforest to the urban jungle. Giant anacondas will be crushing the city's pillars while polar bears float towards the Bank of England on melting icebergs. If you want to join in, remember to wear an animal mask or bring some greenery along!

The day itself is sure to be full of even more japes and surprises, so consider April Fools Day a public holiday - declared by the public, for a change, and make your way to the Belly of the Beast to show Obama and the rest of the G20 that when he talks about change, we want him to mean it.

Ctrl.Alt.Shift. will be out in force. See you there.

For more information please visit www.g-20meltdown.org/ [1]