This year couldn’t have started much better for south London based rapper Master Shortie, what with rumour around that he’s just signed to Cash Money Records. At 21 years of age, the Wyclef Jean, Andre 300 and Mos Def fan dropped his debut album A.D.H.D last year, and with his range of ‘Pigeon Head’ trainers to look out for, it's a wonder he's had any time to get in the studio and vocal his latest tune ‘Day Dream’. Sian Anderson snaps him up for the Ctrl.Alt.Shift verbal assault course. The prize? A bottle of port from our corner shop...

What’s your favourite holiday destination?
I haven't really been on holiday before but in terms of places I've been to, New York is my favourite.

What's the most absurd and poverty-ridden situation you've witnessed in New York?
There are a lot of people missing ligaments, which I think is a bit weird. And a lot of people in wheelchairs especially when you go past the poorer areas like driving to the airport… 

So do you feel bad that you've got all your body parts intact?
It doesn't make me feel bad it makes me feel grateful.

If you had to move to a foreign country, which country would it be and why?
I think there would be different countries for different stages in my life but for now it would probably be the States because I believe I can relate to more people out there and for what I'm doing musically I think there's a bigger market out there. For relaxing it would be somewhere hot, like the Dominican Republic or Hawaii. I love London though, I think London is a beautiful place there's so much to offer here. If you're looking at is as an outsider looking in there are a lot to do and a lot of cool places to go and things to do here. 

How would you live on a pound a day (the majority of the world does live on under £1 a day)?
Probably food. I'll get a big portion of chips; actually I've seen places where you can get one piece of chicken and chips for a pound in some places. Ten pence packets of crisps and a Panda Pop drink. I used to get £3/4 pound for a week.

So would soap and deodorant not be on the top of your list?
Nah man they'd be luxuries.

Which country would you like to invade and why?
I wouldn't want to invade anywhere, depends what you mean about invade cause the way people are invading countries now days is disgusting and I'd never want to have any involvement in it.

If you could be any politician, dictator or world leader, who would you have been and why?
I probably would have wanted to be Hitler so I could change things and put myself in his position, be a German leader and obviously not have put people through what he put them through. I think we'd be in a better position.

So you'd want to change history? Do you not appreciate that the history we have has brought us to where we are now?
I believe in some cases that you need to go through hardships in order to come out the other end stronger and see the light at the end of the tunnel but that was just wrong man. The way he went about it was wrong.

Worse form of torture you can imagine?
It would be something slow; I'd like to be put out of my misery quickly like bang. Anything that takes a long time would be the worst for me.

And how then would you envisage your funeral?
My funeral? Rah, a party man. A big arse party. Everyone celebrating my life…

So disco balls and flashing lights yeah?
Nah, not like a corny celebration [laughs]. I want everyone to have a good time. If I die tomorrow I'd want everyone to know that I've lived a good life, I've achieved a lot of my dreams so far and I'm thankful for my life.

Do you have a preference? Cremation or burial?
I don't know! I'm still trying to work that out. I need to hurry up cause tomorrows never promised. I always think about that, all the time. It's like do I want to be in the ground and have maggots eat me or do I want to be ash, which is just meaningless. I don't know man. It'll come one day.

Would you rather shoot a kid or let off a nuclear bomb in central London?
Argh man! Can I kill myself?

Afraid not…
Nuclear bomb would kill many kids. I'd have to take the kid aside and say, "yo… listen, do you wanna be a hero". A nuclear isn't just a normal bomb is it? There’s an after shock isn't there where you can destroy people and cause many disabilities years later. Personally though I think it's disgusting that people have to make these decisions as soldiers daily and I hope to never have to. That's a really hard question cause obviously you want to kill less children than more, but you wouldn't want to kill any given the choice.

Last film that made you do a little wee in your pants?
That happens often…

Lucky Dip, Samurai sword, AK-47?
AK-47.

And what does that do?
Huh, it kills people.

And are you skilled in using one?
All I know is that a sword thing I wouldn't be skilled at, I'd be more skilled at pulling a trigger, not that I'd want to do either but yeah, AK.

Most bizarre food you've ever eaten?
I'm weary about food. I don't really eat anything too bizarre but my dad cooks pheasants and quail.

What’s a pheasant?
A bird.

Oh okay, so like pigeon?
No.

I'm just kidding, so is that the most bizarre thing you've eaten?
Yeah, off the top of my head. It tastes like dry chicken.

Last person who saw you naked?
Whatttt. Erm [laughs] myself.

And the last person you saw naked?
Argh I'm not exposing people man, c'mon. I can't say no names but it would have been a female and that’s about it!

Three things you're listening to other that yourself?
Buck London, Bjork, J Cole.

Do you think J Cole is better than Drake?
They're similar and they're both real. It depends what mood I'm in. I like the old Drake, but he's becoming too materialistic now, talking about champagne too much.

Describe south London in one word?
Jungle.

What song did you use to dance to when you jumped on your mums bed as a child?
Tracy Chapman’s ‘Fast Car’. My mum loved that song.
 
Words: Sian Anderson

Photo: Flickr user Helen Williams/MusicToTheEyes.co.uk

Visit Mastershortie.com for more information on his Pigeon Head trainers. Day Dream is out on April 15 both digitally and in all major stores.