Andrew Liveris, Dow's Chairman and CEO, noted that "lack of clean water is the single largest cause of disease in the world and more than 4,500 children die each day because of it." He went on to assert that "Dow is committed to creating safer, more sustainable water supplies for communities around the world." Is Liveris making CEO stand for Caring and Ethically Orientated? Could one of the world's largest chemical producers clean the world's water?

But wait! Hold your applause for Mr Liveris. Because if you were going to clean up the world's water, and you were the head of one of the world's largest chemical companies, where would you start? Africa maybe? India? Yes, India could be a good place. Delhi maybe, or Calcutta. No need to sort out the Indian city of Bhopal though. Dow, with a little help from prankster activists The Yes Men (<a href="www.theyesmen.org">www.theyesmen.org</a>) have that base covered. In fact, they have done such a good job with Bhopal, it's bringing out it's own mineral water.

'B'eau Pal'. The label on the bottle claims the water is "Bottled At Source - HAND PUMP #1 ATAL AYUB NAGBAR BHOPAL." The small print says "Not suitable for human consumption." The label explains: "The unique qualities of our water come from 25 years of slow-leaching toxins at the site of the world's largest industrial accident. To this day, Dow Chemical and the Indian Government have refused to clean up, and whole generations are being poisoned." As you may have guessed, The Yes Men had a very specific target market in my mind when they dreamed up B'eau Pal. Ctrl.Alt.Shift joined The Yes Men to see if the target market was interested.

Ctrl.Alt.Shift can take you to some pretty glamorous places. Staines isn't one of them. A place only famous for being home to a fictional idiot (Ali G), Staines is also the site of the UK HQ of Dow Chemical, a multi-billion dollar (profits of over $500 million) company specialising in plastics and chemical products.

Dow are the unlucky owners of Union Carbide, another chemical company that merged with Dow in 2001. 25 years ago in Bhopal, India, a chemical plant partly owned by Union Carbide exploded, exposing over half a million people to 42 tonnes of toxic gas; over 10,000 people died in the first 72 hours. The giant chemical plant, abandoned but still full of chemical waste, remains standing in Bhopal, never properly decommissioned. A reminder of the worst industrial accident in history, an incident called "The Hiroshima of the chemical industry" - except the people of Bhopal were never at war with Union Carbide. The company paid families who lost relatives to the disaster roughly $1000, to say sorry for their little Hiroshima. But this Hiroshima in Bhopal continues to affect thousands and thousands of people, every day.

Satinath 'Sathyu' Sarangi sees the Dow effect first hand, every day. Sathyu is a trustee of the Bhopal Medical Appeal and a clinic in Bhopal that treats people affected by the disaster. Sathyu came to the UK to join The Yes Men in presenting B'eau Pal to Dow officials in Staines. When Sathyu reads the fake ingredients on B'eau Pal's label (Dichlomethane, four times the safe amount, Carbon Tetrachloride, 2000 the safe amount, Chloroform, twice the safe amount), he knows the real effects they can create. Thousands of effects are evident at birth, with the water poisoning babies while they're still in the womb; effects that leave babies with 12 toes and 12 fingers, babies with oversized heads, blind and unable to walk, effects that bring about the menopause early, like before you're 30 years old, effects that give you liver cancer... and so on and so on. Effects that kill you, in one way or another.

So maybe the good people at Dow UK HQ, sunny Staines, could pass on a bottle of B'eau Pal to Mr Liveris? Or maybe they could hear The Yes Men coming and shut up shop for the day, leaving a lone security guard to guard the door against a bottle of mineral water? The security guard did a valiant job against a horde of 20 journalists, independent filmmakers, Students For Bhopal activists, Justice In Bhopal activists, Ctrl.Alt.Shift activists, Sathyu and The Yes Men. No Dow officials; but all the time in the world for some fantastic shots of B'eau Pal next to the Dow sign. It's just a shame Mr Liveris wasn't available; we knew a great place were he could start creating "safer water".

Photos: From the Yes Men website - www.theyesmen.org. Check out the one with The Yes Men in front of the Dow sign, see the red-tshirt in the back? That's our Lemmer.